so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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