Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
