How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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