i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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