So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
