so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
