Christians are straight up FREAKS
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
