are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
