it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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