I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
