This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
