how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
