How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think I just shit out all my problems.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
