yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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