so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
