Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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