Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
