i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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