Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
