I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
