That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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