So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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