dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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