Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
