bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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