do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
