super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
