i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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