Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
