It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
