I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
