I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Randomize
