i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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