So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
