If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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