I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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