Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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