dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
