If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
