New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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