i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
