I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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