discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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