I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
