Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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