I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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