I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
