the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
