a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
