Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
