Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
