sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
