# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
